Ann Ipock
            Humorist, author, speaker

Adults with Braces:
Vanity or Health, and Other Pros and Cons

By: Ann Ipock

As I recently lay in the chair at my orthodontist’s office, I had one thought on my mind and it was this: “What in the heck was I thinking?” Oh, don’t get me wrong. I wanted braces! I needed braces! I’d longed for braces for most of my adult life. Two crooked little teeth – ahem, make that, misaligned teeth – caused the other twenty six teeth to not meet correctly, to not do their job! And though it was never a vanity thing (though I’ve been accused of that), I can prove it: My smile to the naked eye – canine to canine – was just fine. The problem was in the back of my mouth, bicuspids, if you must know: One on the top left and one on the bottom right. So, I wanted braces to correct my bite and to make my teeth healthier – not an unreasonable thing. That doesn’t mean I knew exactly what I was getting into.

Both of our daughters, Kelly and Katie, wore braces, so I was familiar with the routine, or so I thought. Also, my brother and one sister wore braces. Heck, I was a dental hygienist and I studied orthodontia among other topics: retrognathia, gingivitis, periodontal disease, supernumerary teeth. Okay, now I’m showing off, so I’ll stop.

After the usual x-rays and impressions, we started off with spacers in the back of my mouth, then Dr. Willis applied the brackets on all teeth: metal on the bottom and clear on the top (the six central, that is). Though it didn’t hurt exactly (in fact, not at all) my tiny mouth was open and stretched a long time: not fun. Hubby Russell loves to say my tiny mouth doesn’t slow me down. It never gets in my way when talking or eating. But, still. That night, especially, my mouth was dry and my lower lip caught on my brackets, causing tiny cuts. I must have used enough wax on the brackets, for protection, to make a candle. Little did I know that night of flossing would be my last “normal” night of flossing.

The next day I went back for the wire placement. Dr. Willis said things looked good as he peered into my mouth, “Mmm…hmm…mmm…hmm…” were his exact words. I was so pleased that he was pleased. After all, he’s a dear family friend from my hometown, and he’s a golfing buddy of my dad and husband. Next he announced that was going to slenderize my teeth. Now that’s an interesting idea! I asked if he could slenderize my body, but no such luck! Instead he took the sandpaper like-object and slid it between some molars. What followed next reminded me of a saw going back and forth, with someone at each end, cutting down a tree. Back and forth. Gritty. Strange. My head felt like it had concrete inside, being leveled.

On the plus side, the office was so friendly and reassuring. Dr. Willis himself was gentle, yet expedient. The assistant showed me how to floss (the one thing I dreaded) and she made it look so simple that I didn’t give it a second thought. Until that night. Omigosh! It took me an hour and a half. At one point, I ran to Russell, whining, “Did I get the floss inside the wire or am I caught on a bracket?” He said, “Probably,” and didn’t even look inside. Argh! I realized this after I’d been standing there awhile with my two hands stretching my mouth in four directions. Russell’s eyes never left the Golf Channel on TV, and his bottom never left the recliner. However, flossing has gotten easier with practice. Lots of practice.

On my one-month check up, Dr. Willis did a little more slenderizing, this time using something electric. In fact, I said out loud, “It’s electric!” I wanted to get up and dance, taking the entire staff of twelve or so, and do the Electric Slide, meandering in and out of the dental chairs, just for fun! But I didn’t. Maybe I’ve been on too many cruises. During the exam, he seemed very pleased with my progress, noting that a couple of teeth were loose. “Is that bad?” I asked, astonished. “No, that’s good,” he reassured me. I chattered away like my usual self. I did ask him about one recurrent problem: I clench my teeth while sleeping, so could he give me a mouth guard. (Russell’s been wanting me to have one for years, but not the kind you’re thinking – a permanent one that seals your teeth.) Dr. Willis told me no, that this would keep my teeth from moving like they should. Oh, and one other problem: I am biting the sides of my cheeks during my sleep, and I wake up with holes and sores. Ouch!

Someone said to me after the braces were put on, “Oh! In a day or two, you won’t even know they’re there.” Darned if that’s so! I wake up every single morning thinking, “What in the heck is in my mouth?” And I keep a toothbrush and mouthwash inside my purse at all times. Everything, and I mean everything, except perhaps yogurt, gets trapped.

When Katie saw me for the first time post-braces, she said, “Aw, Mom! You look so young!” I told her, “I am young!” but I knew what she meant. Now all I need is bib overalls and pigtails. I may look like a kid, and act like a kid, but thanks to my braces, I absolutely cannot eat like a kid. Bubble gum, candy apples and popcorn are on the list of no-nos. Okay, maybe there is a little vanity involved since I like looking young. Who wouldn’t? But mostly it’s for my health. I promise.

(Top of Page)