Ann
Ipock
Humorist,
author, speaker
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Georgetown
Times
Green Acres is the place to be
By Ann Ipock June 25, 2008
It's funny, but you think you know a person -- and then one day they up and spill the beans about some fact you'd never have guessed.
Hubby Russell, my dad and I were having one of those serious talks about life recently. Dad said he had no regrets, except that sometimes he wished he'd bought a little piece of land out in the country, maybe even a farm. (He once did buy waterfront property where he and my uncle built us a cottage.)
Dad's statement surprised me. And yet, in a way, I could see it.
He's an avid sportsman: He loves hunting, fishing and anything outdoors. He has a gazillion bird feeders and keeps a journal from the screened-in back porch, where he and Mom practically live during warm weather.
I then asked Russell his thoughts -- thinking he'd pick a small golf condominium because, as we all know, Russell's passion is golf. But surprisingly, he said he liked Dad's idea, as long as it was NEAR a golf course. That is oh so Russell.
Heck, there was once a time I considered owning a farm complete with chickens, pigs and land for vegetables, herbs and flowers.
I still believe all that fresh air and sunshine is good for you.
Who knows? Maybe those country folks are healthier because of it.
Grandma Julia and Papa lived out in the country and I distinctly remember a slower pace, less worries and a lot of laughter.
I have a dear friend named Elizabeth that doesn't live on a farm per se, but she does live out in the country on the water.
She compares it to farm living and even calls their spread "Green Acres." In her words, she is Lisa and her husband Tommy is Oliver.
In fact, talk about spilling the beans: Though I'd heard this story, Tommy had not. I was with her the first time he heard it. "What?" he said, surprised, with a slight frown, "Green Acres? I had no idea you felt that way." Don't worry, Tommy, it was a compliment! I get such a charge hearing about it: the barn, the fields, the tree swing.
And though they don't have a pig named Arnold, they do have a chocolate lab named Tomasi (Italian for "Tommy") that also thinks he's human -- and he's Elizabeth baby, for sure. But Tomasi has some bad habits, like eating wild mushrooms and rocks, even. So Elizabeth occasionally takes her "little boy" to the vet (where he's called "the mushroom dog") with tummy aches. In fact, he's going today, though the culprit might be the freshly caught fried fish from last night. Uh oh.
One of Elizabeth's favorite chores is mowing their huge field, which she describes as half grass and half dirt. She gets up on that riding lawn mower, and before it's over, she's covered with dust, dirt and debris. (But she cleans up real good: a beautiful brunette with soft skin and a toned body.)
Oh, and this is her second lawn mower -- she burnt up the first one. She said she saw the little light indicating trouble but she figured it could wait.
Well no, it couldn't.
All of the oil burned out. Near the field stands a greenhouse (for her) and a barn (for him). But his barn is way modern. It houses tools, boats and even a pool table. Don't you just love this eclectic mix of "home on the range" yet thoroughly modern (i.e., fun and functional)?
Whenever Elizabeth goes outside, Tomasi's right by her side. Though he's not the only pet there, he's the only one they feed. Inadvertently, Green Acres has become home to a scary looking creature, according to Lisa -- I mean Elizabeth. She describes it as a cross between a lizard and an iguana (it's about one foot long, for heaven's sake).
But wait. The story gets even better: This creature has a blue tail. Tommy didn't believe her until he saw it with his own eyes recently.
Elizabeth says she enjoys working on the farm -- planting, pruning, pulling weeds, mowing, trimming limbs or blowing away all the rubbish.
She loves that blower and the sense of power it gives her. But unlike the farms of yesteryear, at least she can be reached on her cell phone.
Thank goodness, or we'd never get to talk. And at the end of the day, whether she's been working (see above) or playing -- on jet skis, boating, swimming, fishing, sunning on the dock -- she and Tommy love to kick back, relax and have a drink, all while enjoying all that nature (the farm).
But this all comes with a price: Checking their skin for ticks, those skin-burrowing, blood-sucking parasites -- ick! Lisa checks Oliver and then Oliver checks Lisa. Then it's off to sleep at Green Acres amongst the creek and the critters, until daybreak dawns and the fun starts all over again.