Ann
Ipock
Humorist,
author, speaker
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Georgetown
Times
Rushed, lazy
or just burned out?
By Ann Ipock June
20, 2007
I was talking to my sister Nancy on the phone recently when she started
laughing in mid-conversation and said, “You’ll never guess
what I was just doing!” “Tell me,” I said. I was actually
thinking about saying, “Talking to me?” but I didn’t.
I’ve learned when people say, “You’ll never guess,”
they don’t really want you to guess. Maybe it’s because it
would spoil the fun for them seeing your reaction.
Nancy went on to tell me she was walking around looking for her cell phone
because she remembered it needed charging. But, y’all, guess what
she was holding, talking to me, at that very moment? Her cell phone!
That reminds me of the time I was looking for my glasses and I was wearing
them. And haven’t we all been guilty of looking around for a pencil
when there was one stuck behind our ear? I wonder what’s going on
here: Are we all just rushed, lazy or burned out?
I’ve been doing some
wacky things myself lately, so maybe it’s a full moon. Or maybe
we’re all going looney-tunes — my family, that is, since the
path of ditziness has been in our family circle lately.
Here’s a goodie: I noticed that my china cabinet needed dusting
the other day. And remember, I don’t clean often, but I was having
company, so I was doing spot cleaning. You know — if I saw a spot,
I cleaned it; and, indeed, I saw a spot or two, or three, of DUST.
So here I go spraying orange-scented Behold all over the shelf, only it wasn’t Behold. The fumes were awful. I coughed and gagged, saying, “What the--?” then I realized what I was inhaling wasn’t furniture polish, but instead orange-scented bug spray: roach and ant killer, to be exact. Wouldn’t you think the manufacturers would make sure the cans don’t look so much alike? They were the same exact size, same orange color, same aerosol can, even the same scent, but each had very different properties!
A few days later, I got ready
to turn on the TV to see a special I’d read about — usually
no big deal, right? But for the life of me, I couldn’t find the
remote. (Is that how it got the name “remote?”) The more I
searched, the madder I got. Even though I rarely watch TV, it was the
principle of the thing — that being I want what I want when I want
it! I finally resorted to turning on the actual “power” button
after studying the front panel of the TV for a while. The reason it took
so long was the button is smaller than an earring backing. I scooted back
to my chair and was about to sit down when I realized, “How can
I change the channels or turn up the volume without the remote?”
I am serious. The whole thing was so silly that I just walked forward
and turned off the power button (after I found it again).
We’ve all locked ourselves out of our cars and out of our homes,
right?
However, when my sister Cathy
visited me recently, we both cracked up over this: She drove us over to
a store and when she put the car in park, she started digging through
her purse, seemingly frantic. She said, “Oh, I did it again!”
“What?” I asked. She said, “I can’t find my keys.”
“Cathy,” I said, “they’re in the ignition.”
The car was running and she didn’t even have a clue.
I’ve been hearing more and more about mindfulness these days. I
can only assume it’s the opposite of forgetfulness. I don’t
know where you get it, how you get it or how much it costs, but I definitely
need some. And please don’t let it be in an orange can!