Ann
Ipock
Humorist,
author, speaker
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Georgetown Times Column
Life’s not
fair, get use to it
By Ann Ipock April 06, 2004
I was totally unprepared for the day “it” happened. We had
just sat down to the dinner table and Russell was getting ready to ask
the blessing, for heaven’s sake.
Our 19-year-old daughter, Katie, banged her knee and let out a cuss word
— well, almost. I heard “daaa” and then what sounded
like part of the “m” consonant. But she recovered her fumble,
saying, “Dang. That hurt!”
I looked at Russell and he looked at me, with a forlorned look.
“Katie, frankly, I’m disappointed,” I said. Russell
chimed in, “See what college does to our youth? It corrupts them.”
We both turned on the drama big time — but winked at each other
—since we were kidding around. Russell said the blessing, then added,
“… and Lord, forgive us when we cuss or make a fuss.”
I believe that most parents try to do a good job. We teach our children
right from wrong, show them how to help others, support them in academics,
sports and church.
But it’s also true that when they’re away from home, (in Katie’s
case, in college) we have no idea how much of this stuff has sunk in.
Now, that doesn’t mean we parents are deaf, dumb and blind —
but maybe we are a little naïve. When I think back to our precious
3-year old Katie, in pigtails, sitting in that huge recliner with her
legs straight out (not even dangling over the cushion), and holding her
baby doll, Samantha, it’s hard to believe she might grow up and
cuss.
And I’m not saying that Katie did — but she almost did. And,
it’s not as if Katie is a derelict. She graduated from the S.C.
Governor’s School of Arts and Humanities, and she’s made the
dean’s list every semester of her freshman and sophomore year at
USC. But now she is out on her own, earning money, studying and rehearsing,
driving a car anywhere she wants, hanging out with new friends, and talking
about graduate school already. They do grow up too fast. I’m the
first to get all teary eyed, wishing the clock would slow down. Life is
not fair.
There are other things about life that aren’t fair, as well. Katie
and I talked about this very thing this weekend. Here’s a sampling:
Having to pay library fines, for instance. Why can’t we just keep
the books until we are through reading them, since not everyone reads
at the same speed?
Take Russell, for instance, who has been reading the Evelyn Wood Seven-Day
Speed Reading and Learning Program book for over two years. As soon as
he finishes, he’ll be the fastest reader in the family.
More examples of “Life is not fair:”
Taking ineffectual (and dull) classes in school. Katie is a flute performance
major, but a week ago, she stood at the wastewater treatment plant in
Columbia with 20 other lab students from her geology class, learning where,
well, ah, our “waste” goes.
The students were actually forced to stand over a bridge and watch the
bubbly brown stuff below, while hearing how the “waste” gets
chemically sterilized, and then goes on its merry way again.
Katie said she felt nauseous and nearly fainted, adding that she felt
like she was in the TV show, “Fear Factor,”— while seeing,
smelling and realizing the embarrassing truth. She also said she didn’t
think it would help her one bit years down the road when she’s playing
flute — hopefully — with the New York Philharmonic. I kind
of see her point.
Another “Life is not fair” (and it’s similar to the
above paragraph — but in reverse), is learning the really important
stuff in school and then forgetting it later on.
A friend recently e-mailed me a “third-grade test.” I laughed,
thinking it would probably easy stuff like, “Who discovered America?”
and maybe even a little tougher, like, “What is the county seat
of Georgetown County?” But, no! It was a timed geography test! You
had to click and drag the names of the individual states in America and
post them in their correct location.
Well, guess what? Not only did I fail third grade, but so did Russell
and Katie — the honor student who, as I said, can drive to any state
she wants — if she can just find it first.
After we got our sickening scores — I got only 14 right, Russell
got 18 right, and Katie got 35 right—we three were told the “short
bus” would pick us up soon. So, I wrote my friend back and told
her I needed to plan a little bit ahead: When will I be picked up? (third
grade or not, I’m a night owl.) What should I wear? (I forget what’s
“cool” for third-graders.)
And would we be leaving the state? (Because if so, I definitely want to
take a map to figure out where I am!) Life is not fair, but rest assured,
I do know the county seat of Georgetown.