Ann
Ipock
Humorist,
author, speaker
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
Georgetown
Times
Make overs for men means losing the ties
By Ann Ipock March 14, 2007
I’m not naming names
here — but a male friend of ours just went through a make over at
work. As a corporate executive working in a large city, he and several
other employees were selected by his firm to attend an image consulting
class.
Though Mike didn’t show us “before” and “after”
photos, I noticed a visible difference even before his wife Carla pointed
it out. (Names changed to protect the guilty.)
When I arrived at their home for a visit, I noticed Mike looked different
— younger, peppier, but I couldn’t say exactly how. That night
Carla sent Mike out to buy a new blow dryer. When nosy old me asked her
why, saying, “Is yours broken?” She said no, that Mike needed
one since we’d be taking hers on an overnight trip she and I had
planned.
Then it hit me. I said: “That’s it! I noticed something different
about Mike. His hair is longer.” Don’t get me wrong: it was
very neat, brushed back and to the side, and all one length — sort
of Michael Douglas-like. Tres chic! And after all, our friend Mike is
one of the lucky ones who at our age still has a head full of hair, so
why not wear it to his advantage? As Granny Pinky used to say, “If
you’ve got it, flaunt it, honey!”
Later, Carla had Mike describe the class to me. A nationally recognized
image consultant with two decades of experience was invited to his company
to conduct her “now-famous classes,” which promise to help
each individual discover their personal “best” image.
By helping folks to project their utmost impression to others, the students
are supposedly going to increase their confidence level. OK, I was starting
to get it: Truth be told, sounds like a plan to me!
Mike further explained how each student took a personality test in the
beginning, then met with the consultant, who diagnosed their body’s
assets and flaws (uh-oh), color analysis, tailoring suggestions, and even
hair and eyeglass style, depending on face shape and — do you believe
this? — light, medium or heavy wrinkles. OK, the last part I kind
of made up — but this consultant did indeed talk about folks’
“facial age” according to their facial features, going so
far as to mention crow’s feet around the eyes and pucker lines around
the mouth, all of which she hoped to conceal with her handy-dandy bag
of tricks.
When Mike told me that everyone had their body silhouette drawn on paper,
I grimaced. At the same time, I became thankful that I wasn’t in
the class. It’s bad enough to look in the mirror daily, disgusted
and depressed — but to have my shape pointed out to me? Ah, I don’t
think so. Thanks anyway. One woman was told not to wear a certain style
skirt because it made her hips look wider. Other folks were encouraged
to change their neck lines or hem lengths. In Mike’s case, he was
told to buy a pair of glasses without frames that turned up at the ends
(to hide his minute wrinkles), which he could find in the ladies’
department. Whoa! When Mike told me this, Carla scoffed at this idea,
but I couldn’t quite read Mike’s reaction.
But Mike saved the best for last. Surprisingly, the men were asked to
bring in all of their ties so that the teacher could decide whether the
color and design were right for the individual who owned them. Well. Mike
brought in about 30 ties, way more than anyone else, and dang if the image
lady didn’t take away five of them and give them to other men, saying
they were more well-suited (no pun intended) for said ties. Now, if any
of you gals have ever bought your man clothes, you know it’d make
you madder than a wet hen for those clothes to get snatched from you and
given away. And Carla did. She’s a super-savvy dresser herself and
she takes pride in the fact that she selects and buys all of Mike’s
clothes. And Mike is thankful she does. Heck, he told me he hadn’t
been shopping for clothes for himself in a decade. In front of me, Carla
asked Mike if he was given a gift certificate in exchange for those expensive
ties she herself had bought. He said no. Isn’t that a bit odd? (I
asked if the women had to bring in scarves or belts to give to other women
more well-suited, but they didn’t.) Hmmph! The strange thing is
Mike said none of the men felt comfortable taking his ties and since then,
only one man had worn the “used” tie. This I can understand.
Mike said on the final day lots of folks gave positive evaluations. Many said the class had been life changing. I’m afraid it might be for Mike in that he’ll probably be buying his own clothes (and ties) in the future.