Ann
Ipock
Humorist,
author, speaker
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Georgetown
Times
Blowing bubbles
is so cool, makes us feel like a kid again
By Ann Ipock January
25, 2006
Chewing bubble gum used to be a big faux pas: not allowed in school, discouraged
in public places, and frowned upon, in general. Until recently, I’d
given up the stuff.
We identify with certain folks when we think of gum. Remember Mrs. Wiggins
(pronounced “a-whiii-gins”) from “The Carol Burnett
Show” on TV?
She was Tim Conway’s secretary. She had an exaggerated bee-hind
that stuck out, a sloping-forward torso and a prissy high-heeled walk.
Whenever Mr. Tudball called her over the intercom, she would clomp over
to his desk while simultaneously filing her nails and chewing gum.
I’ve noticed gum-chewing
styles vary greatly from person to person: You’ve got your lip-smackers,
loud poppers, jaw-dropped “cud-chewers,” and bubble blowers.
(I used to fit into the last category.)
Very few, if any, are what I’d call discrete; and most are, in fact,
annoying. When you think about, gum chewing is actually pretty nasty —
saliva and sugar; sugar and saliva. Eeeew!
If you’ve ever reached up under a table and felt a wad stuck to
the surface, you know what I mean.
A gum chewer I am not. Horror stories over the years have kept me gum-free
for the most part.
For starters, there was that time Hubby Russell nearly bit his tongue
in half on an errant piece of bubble gum.
I remarked while driving us home from the E.R. just how shocked I was
that the doctor could not sew up his tongue.
Only ice, aspirin and time would stop his pain — and heal his pride.
Years later, having forgotten about this, I bought Russell a 20-cent pack
of gum. He often says, “No good deed ever goes unpunished.”
I proved that theory true.
Forty-eight hours later, he was sitting in the dental chair being prepped
for a thousand dollar crown. A monster-filling had been sucked out of
his molar by that no-good gum.
Chewing gum is not always dangerous, of course. Sometimes the results
are hilarious. Once, our daughter Katie was working out at the gym at
USC.
She was standing there stretching next to her friend Lauren, when a couple
of “hotties” came by. Lauren said something funny and Katie
reared her head back laughing heartily (mouth wide open). Unfortunately,
the wad of gum dropped out of her mouth and landed at the feet of the
buff blonde guy who had just winked at her. Embarrassed, her face turned
candy apple red — even her ears glowed.
While riding around with a Realtor some time back, we stopped to see a
brick home along a tree-lined lane.
I was wearing my high heels and “power suit,” since I’d
attended a conference earlier in the day.
Stepping out of the car, I was, well, quite literally stuck (to the pavement)
by some gum. I was also struck by the humor. Lifting my right foot revealed
a stretchy, spider web-like glob.
As a kid, I chewed every gum available — Bazooka, Super Bubble,
Double Bubble and others. My friends and I made the ever-so-popular ’60s
braided gum-chain from the wrappers of Juicy Fruit, Wrigley’s, Teaberry
and even Black Jack gum — now that was an interesting flavor: liquorish.
But I think when I entered college to become a dental hygienist, I got
the “no gum lecture” drilled into my head by the dentist/dental
professor and I began to abstain. I never even considered sugarless gum
because I always want the real thing. Puh-leeze! When I want butter, I
don’t eat margarine. When I want crabmeat, I don’t eat surimi.
And when I want sugar, I don’t eat aspartame.
But that’s another reason I didn’t chew — the flavor
(sugar) left as quickly as it came.
Hence, I’d throw out a chewed piece in a couple of minutes. And
Lord knows my two daughters — who are big-time gum addicts —
fussed at me about that, saying, “Mom, that’s wasting! I’m
not going to give you any more gum.” I’d shrug, “Who
cares?” (But I must admit I secretly missed blowing bubbles.)
So the point is I almost never chew gum because it’s dangerous,
messy, embarrassing and loses flavor fast. But also, it’s just not
cool.
At least, it wasn’t cool until now. On the most recent episode of
“Grey’s Anatomy,” my heart throb, Dr. Derek Shepherd
(Patrick Dempsey) was caught in the act! It was only a fleeting second
and you might have missed it; but when he, Dr. Burke and Dr. Webber were
looking at the schedule board, preparing for an upcoming nurse’s
strike, Dr. McDreamy himself was chewing gum!
And not only that: At one of the trendiest hair salons around —Stox and Company —owner Susan Stox has sitting out on the counter, tempting all of us divas and dudes, a big old fishbowl full of — you guessed it — Supper Bubble!
Yes, it’s true; they’re
still making the individual waxy pink nubs, wrapped in colorful navy,
red and yellow-striped wrappers. And I mean, who can resist? I reach for
a piece and feel like a kid again.
Even though I leave there all grown-up and doodied-up, chic and magnifique
— I just can’t resist the pièce de résistance!
The last time I left there, I reached for a handful at the same time another
woman did. We giggled like teen-agers.
Here, we both were dressed to the nine’s, ready to conquer the world
in our professional, polished and pedicured 9-5 world.
We giggled like teen-agers and yet; we were cool! I watched her drive
away in her Lexus 470 SUV (while sitting in my Kia Sportage), thinking,
“Yeah, but I bet I can blow a bigger bubble than you!”
Like I said, I felt like a kid again.